With a 15-hour time difference and over 10,000 kilometers of distance between my family and me, this overall experience has revealed two significant things about me. The first is that I tend to underestimate my ability to adapt to a new environment. Before studying abroad, I had never been in a new environment that I wasn’t already accustomed to, especially in terms of culture and language. As a Mexican and bilingual individual, I can easily shift between both cultures and languages.
I will admit I did struggle and continue to struggle with many aspects of Japanese culture, behaviors, mannerisms, etc. Still, thanks to the help and patience of both my Japanese and international friends, they have made that learning process so much easier. Especially since we learn from each other’s mistakes when we do something wrong, we are there to help correct each other. Basically, I did not think I would be able to adapt as quickly as I did, given that the Japanese and Mexican cultures are opposites in terms of communication, manners, societal roles, and life’s purposes. For example, Japanese people often tend to mean the exact opposite of what they intend to say, but I was unaware of this because no one had told me. But to really know what they mean, they do something called “reading the air”. This means I say this, but I really mean the opposite, and if you “read the air” or, for us, it would be “reading the room” or getting the hint, you would really know what they mean. I learned this the hard way when I thought a group of girls wanted to be my friend and hang out on another occasion, but they really meant the opposite. Especially when they said they were going to do homework, we could work on it together. However, they asked if I wasn’t going to go to another building, as I had previously mentioned. Overall, it took me a while to understand their form of social cues, mainly because they differ significantly from the ones I am used to.
The other side of the coin is that once I got here, I began to realize how I had taken my family for granted. My mom and sister are my biggest support system when it comes to school, guiding me through the problems I encounter. When I was back home, it was much easier to talk to them whenever I was having a bad day, or school wasn’t going the way I wanted it to. I miss the little moments we would share throughout the day, even if it was just lunch or having a late-night snack and chatting. Although I have great friends here who also support me with school, both academically and emotionally, I also miss spending quality time with my family back home. But I try to make the most of what I have with my friends now because I know that once I go back home, I will finally be reunited with my family. However, a part of me will always want to spend quality time with my friends and chat with them as well.
My relationship with individuals hasn’t become more complicated as my stay lengthens, but rather that my understanding of the culture becomes more complex. It was after the first month that I finally began making both international and Japanese friends, when the complexities of the host country finally started to make sense. At first, much of what was done in everyday life often made no sense or held no meaning for me when I first arrived. However, as I previously mentioned, thanks to the help and time of friends, I slowly came to understand why so many actions are taken. For example, I never understood the difference between being polite and showing genuine kindness. Often, what I thought of as someone being kind was them being polite. I frequently encountered students speaking with international students for their English assignments or other reasons. They would ask typical questions, such as where I was from, what I studied, and other things. Then we would exchange contact information, hoping they would ask if we could hang out and be friends, because that is what I had understood from the exchange. Despite this, I never received a response from many students. They often do this out of politeness (based on an explanation from a Japanese friend) and not because they want to be your friend. I learned that a lot of what is done out of politeness is often not out of kindness, but rather what is expected of them by society.
The sun sets often made me remember my family because it was around that time of day when we would take a daily walk. I often wished I could have them there in person to admire the sunset with me. The picture with the silly filter is of the friends I made during my time here. We study most days during facetime since the school closes every day after 8 P.M.
